Patches Smatches

[Fiach]

So, I was interested in a game called...Of Orcs and men, I called Gamestop, yes, they did have it in stock and no...you dont have to access it via Steam (*spits in Steams general direction).

After a bit of research, it turns out it was made by Cyanide, who made Game of Thrones (the more recent one, not the RTS) and had a similar combat system, which apparently is either a love/hate thing, it's kinda like Dragon Age, but a bit different.

So, rather than take a punt on €35, I took a punt for €10 on GoT, to see if I liked the combat.

I installed the game, pressed play and was offered an update, as I wasnt interested in the game per se (dont like the GoT books), I just wanted to see what the combat was like, I declined.

I got to playing the game and after numerous cutscenes, I got into the combat and yes it is an aquired taste, but....

I got my a$$ handed to me in the tutorial, I couldnt figure out why, until I noticed, (the combat was at night, so it was dark), that I didnt have a weapon equipped. So, I cheked my inventory and sure enough, in the weapon slots, I had my weapons and in the inventory they were also marked as equipped, reloaded the game, went into combat and still no weapons, so, maybe they only activate if I use skills (odd combat system, so maybe that was it), nope.... The skills you are trying to use neither match your weapons or battle stance.....

After numerous bouts of checking weapon types (1 hand, 2 hand etc.), skills, remaking my character to make sure I did it correctly, making sure the skills I bought/assigned, were correct for the weapons I had equipped (they were), and numerous re-reads of the manual (a pretty useless affair, too shiney to even use in the crapper), to see WTF I was missing, eventually I came to the conclusion .... nope, even I cant be that fucking stupid  :D

I hit the internet and after a bit found the solution to not being able to equip weapons :

Uninstall the game.
Make a clean install, delete some BS file.
Patch the game to 1.1, then patch the game to 1.2, then patch the game to 1.3.

....Just to be able to equip fucking weapons..... How the f@#k does a combat game get released, that needs three fucking patches just to allow you to equip weapons???

Now, I know the game has an auto patcher and if I used it, I wouldnt have had any problems at all, but I'm glad I didnt use it, now that I realise the lack of Quality Control they have (or should that be haven't?), I know better than to buy another game from them.

Now, while that may seem like small gripes, as I could have automatically updated the game, after the update, the Codex doesnt w@&k (not much of a bother to me as I have read the books, so most anything in the codex, I would know of anyway. But for other people its crap.,
Also when I aquire my second character, on the creation screen I have 10 skillpoints to spend and I cannot assign them.
When you get a loot icon on a body and loot it, nothing appears in the Loot Box, but when you press "A", you do collect stuff as it does appear in your inventory.
When you get tutorial messages, they "should be" collected in your Codex, but as that doesnt w@&k, you are faced with trying to remember stuff (based on skills that you still haven't aquired) at a later date, when you will most likely have forgotten it.

TL:DR..

Game devs, if you cannot release a game without a need for 3 patches for basic stuff (I can understand patches for dialogue trees or quest integration), then you dont deserve any money, so I wont be buying any subsequent games you make.

On a side note, the combat is pretty OK, you can slow time, queue up 3 commands, then unpause and your character auto attacks. Also, the game story is apparently quite good as well (it's not based on the book, just set in the literary world). So if you are interested and can pick it up for a tenner, its worth a punt.

[Art Blade]

bugger. I remember times when we would go to a games shop and buy a game, install, and play it. No patches. Well, later there were, you had to buy game mags with CDs glued to the cover that used to contain all kinds of crap and a few patches. But those patches were usually more or less cosmetic rather than vital. What happened to QA, particularly the A of QA?

If a today's game was a dish served in a restaurant it would be served as an uncooked mush in a bowl with a whisk so you could stir the s#!t up and throw it in the oven and wait for it to finish cooking. Only you don't have the oven, you'll have to wait for the "oven patch" first. Don't dare to even think about a plate and cutlery.

[Fiach]

If a today's game was a dish served in a restaurant it would be served as an uncooked mush in a bowl with a whisk so you could stir the s#!t up and throw it in the oven and wait for it to finish cooking.

Who posted that, Art or ....PZ????

OMG Art is PZ!!!!!   >:D :o 8-X

[mandru]

I hear you guys and sometimes they can't get their patch systems to function properly either.

With Assassin's Creed Revelations I've got a situation the first two patches "Patch1.0 & Patch2.0" worked fine and then some some moron with a Doctorate in higher Mathematics named the next patch in the series "Patch2.0" again.  :D

Instead of recalling the misnamed patch and setting an exploratory team on finding out what the next numeral in the complicated sequence should actually be applied to the patch file name they have released a fourth patch that wont load because the third patch was never allowed to load by the patch system.  :D  :D

Ubi's solution has been to provide a download link to retrieve the third patch without auto installing it, then the user can rename the patch to "Patch3.0" and after completely removing and reinstalling the game the user can manually add the now appropriately named "Patch3.0" so that the patch system can start working again.  :D  :D  :D

All of the patches seem to have been related to the multi-player aspects of the game so I cancel the update download request the two times it tries to initiate every time I start to play but that involves a bit of lag time for the system to grasp that I've actually said "NO!  \:/ " to their lovely wonked up update server.  There's no way I'm going to uninstall and reinstall a game.  If I have to tear it out it'll stay out.

Hey Ubi!  This patch system needs a patch system!  >:((

[Art Blade]

hehe, mandru :)

Who posted that, Art or ....PZ????

OMG Art is PZ!!!!!

What's worse than a grumbly Irishman with access to the internet is a visually impaired grumbly Irishman with access to the internet  :-()

[Fiach]

hehe, mandru :)

What's worse than a grumbly Irishman with access to the internet is a visually impaired grumbly Irishman with access to the internet  :-()

Who said that?? cheeky young whippersnappers....back in the old days, we would ......*walks off muttering obscenities...

[Art Blade]

 :-() :-X

[PZ]

  :-X :-X

[Fiach]

Is AC the game that you need to be online to play it, or at least start it up? I only have the 360 version, but I seem to remember some negativity about either ubisoft or AC in this respect.

[mandru]

Yeah, you've basically got that right Fiach.  I think there may be a way to play without going through the Ubi user account authentication server as in a situation where the site is offline but it won't remember your advancements though sometimes it will allow that info to be stored temporarily to be uploaded later.

*I click the desktop icon to play and the bad downloaded update (the second patch2.0) is still hanging in storage (jammed in the breech so to speak) and on the ready to be unloaded so I have cancel that when it tries to install.

*Once I'm online navigating through Ubi's UPlay authentication portal and direct the server to let me play the game it tries once again to apply the same bad second patch2.0 because there are other updates log jammed behind it waiting in queue forcing me to cancel the action a second time to get into the game.

Did I mention that there's roughly a 15 second delay each time my system is prompted to check for available updates and it has to launch and load the auto-updater when it spots that bad update that can't load because somebody at Ubi screwed up the difficult task of counting beyond two?  :D

[Fiach]

Yeah auto patching can be really annoying, hence my getting console versions of all my Steam (*spit) stuff , their auto patch screwed up my Dead Island files, so no more games that have to be authenticated through Steam (*spit).





Steam (*spit) and Steam (*spits in Steams general direction) are trademarked and patented by the Fiach is a Luddite Corporation, any infringement thereof will result in humungous spammage.

Legal Disclaimer, humungous may not be an actual word, if not, The Fiach is a Luddite corp reserve all rights of usage in perpetuity....
Amen.

>:D

[PZ]

That is the typical way of things; someone comes up with a good idea that is easy to implement (like develop games for the PC and just install it like any other program), and then some idiot screws it up (oh... let's force them to have an Internet connection to start the game...)

[mandru]

At some core level the thought of an unpatchable auto patch system makes me crazy.  ??? ?


On the topic of "Steam (*spit) and Steam (*spits in Steams general direction) are trademarked and patented by the Fiach is a Luddite Corporation..."

It costs about $10,000 USD to secure a patent if it doesn't impinge on any previous patents.

I had an idea for an invention of a household item that I'm convinced was a potentially profitable product.  I was seeking a small amount of backing for patent acquisition from a company that I was working for I was granted a meeting to speak with one of the vice-presidents for the purpose of laying out my idea (with proper disclosure agreements so that he couldn't take my idea and run with it , of course) and while he thought it was an excellent idea that could easily make hundreds of thousands of dollars he rejected my proposal saying the company was only interested in ideas that would generate many millions of dollars.  ???

Like a little salt in your wound?  He must have personally liked the idea.  Every time he saw me after that at various corporate events he would go out of his way to ask how things were going with my product to which I had to answer "Well obviously you can see I'm still working here."  :D

I learned at least two important things from that meeting the first of which addresses your trademark and patent claim Fiach.

1. A copyright, patent or trademark does not give you the right to implement or use your own intellectual property.  It only gives you the right to stop someone else from using it.

2. The only way a low level peon like myself can make a break into marketing an invented product is to first- skip patents altogether, then find and arrange for a fabricator who will produce (on demand) small batches of my product.  Once I've got items to sell I load them into my car trunk and sell them as quickly as I can in supermarket parking lots or curbside to passers by until I either have saved up enough money to hire a patent attorney or I am slapped by a larger company with a court order to cease and desist all production and sales.

In the latter case it's probably best to comply, file bankruptcy, take the money earned if there's anything left after fabrication expenses hide it in a sheltered investment and run to a neighboring state and start selling all over again as many times as necessary.

????

I guess I'm not the entrepreneurial type.  ::)