The Rattanburrow Chronicles - Pay Day

[mir24]

*click*

*mumbling to self*

"... Shoot the teacher in the polytechnic? By golly! Why not, eh what?  Thirty stones is thirty stones, Mr. Mbantuwe. Just leave it to me, or my name isn't William Rattanburrow! What fun!"

*phone rings* "Meet you near the Polytechnic? Jolly good, Andre old boy. Somewhere close to my target, for once!"

*click*
.
.

*click*

*leaves and shrubs rustling*

"Fun, my a**e! Send me out to Sediko, why don't you? After all, it's only half the bloody country away, past 4 outposts, 5 patrols, 6 swamp boats and 888 idiot mercs who don't have the decency to offer me so much as a 'hello' let alone a cup of tea.

"Not that there's much to do in Sad-i-ko either. Hovels - check! Rusted bus - check! Population - nil! Civilization - what's that? Huh! Pathetic excuse for a town, I say. Still, 50/50's not a bad offer... *pause* Considering I'm doing 100% of the w@&k... Right, let's see... Which way shall I go?"

*click*
.
.

*click*

*lots of rustling of bushes* *sound of engine in distance* *silence*

*thup!* *chkkk-ker-chkkk* *revving of engine* *thup!* *chkkk-ker-chkkk*

*engine stops* *sound of bodies thumping to ground* *engine starts again*

*chuckle* "Thanks for the ride, chaps. Sorry 'bout the darts. But it's not like you'd've offered me a ride, anyways. Right, off we go again... Ta!"

*click*
.
.

*click*

*sounds of sustained firing* *screams*

"He's here!"

"Who's here?"

"There he is- *Uzi rattles off* -aaarghhh!"

"Go round the back, try to flank him!"

"You go in and I'll flank him! Ready? I'm going in! GOT you, you bas- *FAL firing* -arrkkhhh!"

"S**t! I'm hit! I need a medic! Medic!"

"Hold on, I'm here, we'll get you back on your fee-"

"Grenade! Grenade!!! Take cov-!" *whooosh!*

*unified "Aaaarhhhhggg!!!"*

*silence*

"S**t! We've lost him!"

"He's taken the map!"

"Circle around, he could be behind us!"

"We don't know where he is!"

"Who? Where who is?"

*silence*

"I've been watching you! I know you! You know how I know you? 'Cos I'm your worst nightmare! Yeah, yeah that's right!!"

"Come on, you b*****d! Let's get this on! I've seen ya! You're nothing! And I'm gonna make you a whole lot less than noth-!"

*sound of machete slashing*

*silence*

*click*
.
.

*click*

*explosions in the background* *screams*

"Fire! It's fire! Wooo-ahh-ahhhh! Ahh!" *FAL chatters away*

*silence*

"Riiiight... So this is the Polytechnic, eh? Not exactly Cambridge but it'll do, I guess. Now, where's that teacher? Ah... I spy with my little eye, something beginning with... "T"...

*sound of machete unsheathing*

*click*
.
.

*click*

*Here's your map, Andre old boy! Should be worth at least 50 stones... 25 for me and 25 for you. Fair's fair, eh what?

*mumbled conversation in the background*

"A fuel pile? You sent me through all that for a bloody FUEL PILE? What kind of payment is that?! 50/50 my a**e!"

*UZI firing* *kkkchkk-klak-ping!* *UZI firing again*

"That'll teach you, you s***ing excuse for a miserable little cheat! Who the hell needs a fuel pile?

*sound of rummaging in knapsack*

"Right, time to record my next weekly episode...

"What the hell?! You mean I've had this bloody thing on all this time??? 'Kin 'Ell!"

*click*

[deadman1]

Very very good  ;D :-X

[JRD]

Indeed... I can almost see what`s going on... nice soundeffects too...  :-X ;)

[Dweller_Benthos]

You mean it's been on the whole time?

LOLOLOLOL

Reminds me of my aunt who was taking video at a friend's house, then put the camera away in her bag, without pausing first, and took a couple hours of vid of the inside of her bag while she and her friend gabbed away.

Haven't let her forget that one yet.....

[Art Blade]

hahaha! Good one, d_b, and of course a big smile and chuckle at mir24's story  ;D :-X

Very well, sir mir24, I do hope our dear friend Mr Rattanburrow was served a nice cup of Earl Grey or Darjeeling, perhaps with a spot of milk to crown the event, after all those unspeakable moments of barbarism he had to sustain. Good god, that old chap sure knows how to lose his temper at the right time, now doesn't he, but I believe that he is more the kind of a gentleman known for maintaining his composure. Keeping a stiff upper lip and all that. However, one might almost feel pity for those who dare stand in his way. Almost. In the last adventure we were allowed to follow, those poor bastards whose careers came to a rather sudden and permanent halt certainly deserved it, at least for being so uncultivated (this time avoiding to call them 'continental' which inadvertently might insult those who live there). Time someone taught them some manners indeed. Well done, may he continue bravely with his knightly task :)

[PZ]

Having been to the Polytechnic many times, I can almost see the imagery as you write  :-X

[mir24]

Thanks again, guys. Makes me almost re-consider my career in writing (or lack thereof).

Not sure if anyone noticed but this article looked at several points which I felt would've fleshed out the game, had they paid a leeetle bit more attention to detail:

1. The generic nature of the buddy missions

2. The lack of a reward for fulfilling said buddy missions (a fuel pile??? - I want blood diamonds, thanks!)

3. The lack of civilians and refugees in the country (whom we did glimpse at in the intro - even Mr. Taxi Driver said that the only ones who could get out were the ones with either money or connections - so where the bloody hell are they?)

4. How everyone shoots at the protaganist (i.e. yours truly) even though I look the same as them. I mean, it's not like I've got my passport plastered on my forehead, right? Or big neon sign above me saying "Shoot Me!"

5. The lack of upgrade options - I would've loved to customize my weapons, personal-like. Hahaha! Surely a jaded merc like yours truly would know how to screw on or unscrew a silencer from the MP5, yes?

On a happier note, I ended that mission by driving to the rescue point (I won't reveal it lest I spoil it for others), running over two or three mercs, got out of car to shoot down the last one and voila! buddy rescued! :-*

Such moments make it all worthwhile...  ;) :-X

-mir-

PS. It's "Sepoko" not "Sediko". I'm terribly lousy at reading maps (even in real life).