AC2 funny moments

[Art Blade]

She could open up a hell of a barber shop.. "So you'd like a close shave with my hidden blade, sir?"  :-()

[mandru]

"Which side would you like your head.. er.. hair parted on?"

>:D

[Art Blade]

"Going to shave you now.. do you want me to mind your ears?"  :-D

[mandru]

Lucy: "Sorry about all the nicks and cuts while shaving you.  Would you like me to wrap your face in a hot towel?"

Customer: "No thanks, I'll just carry it home in my coat pocket."

[PZ]

 ^+-+

[Art Blade]

 ^+-+

Lucy: "Aw, geez.. I keep forgetting how that bloody blade snaps through that gap where my finger used to be. Does it hurt a lot?"

Customer "I'm not sure what hurts more, the right nostril where the blade entered or the left temple where it emerged."

Lucy: "Funny, look, it went right through the chair!"

Customer "I can't move.. you nailed me to the chair with it"

[PZ]

 ^+-+

[fragger]

ROFL at that last exchange ^+-+ ^+-+ ^+-+ :-X

[Art Blade]

 >:D

Lucy "Although I can't fathom out what you're mumbling with those cut lips and half your tongue hanging out that cut in your cheek, but it sure was a pleasure. Please do come visit us again. Oh, and don't slip on your blood when you leave."

[mandru]

Resquiate in patches... rest in pieces.   ???

[Art Blade]

If it has come to that, then it's time for the next customer!  :)

This time Lucy won't use the hidden blade. She'll use the double-sided giant war ax.

Lucy: "I hope you're sitting comfortable. Sorry I had to strap you to the seat, but you'll have to understand that it is for your own safety. See, you're trembling like a leaf. STOP it, please.. OK, now I'll take a practice swing.."

Customer: "MMMMMmmmMMMmmMmmh!"

Lucy: "That gag works rather well, don't you think? If it tastes a bit funny, don't blame me. Blame the last customer. He was well over 80.. all he could eat was soup I believe. That's what it looked like when he vomited around that gag. Alright then. Ready? OK, 1.. 2.. 3!"

<SCRTCH!>

Lucy: "Oh my god. Don't worry, it's not your blood.. it's from that dog that came in with you. Was it your dog?"

[mandru]

 ^+-+

(talk about Dark Zone   ;) )

[mandru]

I completed my 2nd play through AC2 this morning and shifted over to the after the game free roam (rampage) mode.   ;D

I came across an interesting and moderately funny glitch while knocking the snot out of the guards in the main town square in Forli.  First I'd thrown an archer off a roof top so I could use the elevated vantage point to set up a double eagle strike on the patrolling guards that circle the square as they stopped to investigate just out of detection range of the four stationary guards guarding an open door to the SW.  Then picking up one of the freshly looted guards I strolled over to the door guards to inspire their wrath.

Long story short I was trying to see how many guards could be stacked up on the sofa inside the office using both groups of guards (at one point adding one more guard would pop two of them off so I gave up on that diversion  ::) ) but there were still a couple bodies out in the town square so for the sake of clean up I decided to toss them in through the door.

:o

Apparently right where the camera switches to the interior view for Ezio as he enters the office there's a slippery spot if you throw the guard right before hitting that point that the program has problems processing.  The guard I'd tossed in was trapped in a loop where he got hung up at the top of the doorway and started dancing like a very limber Jumping Jack toy.   ^+-+

After going through several cycles of popping to the top of the door and rattling around and slowly settling down through the door frame only to bounce back to the top the guard snapped out of the loop and was slammed against the back wall of the office.   :-X



I've also noticed that once you've completed all the main missions in a town the townsfolk start getting pretty nasty in their comments about you continuing to slaughter guards and looting them for kicks.

"I thought you were supposed to be protecting us!"

"Go to some other city! Leave us alone!"

And so on.   ;D

[Art Blade]

Hehehe, nice observations, I like your attitude  :-() :-X

I've seen glitches like that one in various games involving some body and a door or a door frame. Sometimes the ragdoll effect is provoked out of the blue and at a breathtaking speed, also sometimes accompanied by adequate rapid flopping and flapping rattling sounds  :)

Good to see you're enjoying the game a lot  :)

[PZ]

Sounds like you're having great fun - the same kind I was having when playing AC2  :-X  I've not experienced exactly what you describe, so evidently you never know what you're going to see!  :-()

[mandru]

I've not experienced exactly what you describe, so evidently you never know what you're going to see!  :-()

And sometimes the thing you're not going to see.   :D

I was dressed as a guard delivering the apple to "The Spaniard" during the part of the mission where you have to stay in formation and those crate carrying merchants are going out of their way to run into you so the local guards will knock you down.

This last time through I had one of those merchants spawn two steps in front of me and headed right at me just seconds before completion of the event causing me to desynchronize.  :o

[Art Blade]

Strange, I only had trouble getting changed in time, but carrying the crate didn't involve any problems.

[PZ]

Interesting problem - one that I did not experience either.  I found that if you stop as soon as one heads your way, he will go around you and not drop his crate.  Then you can pick up the pace to get back to the Captain.

[Art Blade]

Sometimes it might be a good idea to give a flying f@rt about a desync and drop that crate just to beat the sweet bejesus out of those pesky merchants or minstrels and feel relieved.  >:D Knowing that you did it will lift your spirits high enough so the next time you try seriously again you'll be rather chillaxed.  :-()

[mandru]

Here's a couple more funny observations.

1. When doing the assassin's tombs inside he cathedrals there are a few points where you jump onto the heavy iron chandeliers as you navigate through.  In the second cathedral with the 4 timed obstacle courses (N. S. E. & W.) and the cool rotating mosaic tile floor hiding the tomb I encountered an anomaly.

When one of the completion levers for a timer is reached you down on a raised dais at the front of that wing and jump out to one of those huge chandeliers which swings ponderously under your feet.  From there you have to drop down to the top of an 8 or 10 foot high marble railing to avoid taking damage getting back to the start point of the next task.  When you drop from the chandelier to the rail any swing still in the chandelier is still present in your character and he will scoot back and forth along the rail matching the motion of the still swinging chandelier overhead.

2. Citizens can free run but not very well.  In Venice there are certain areas along the canals where there are alcoves with treasure chests that are being guarded that are visible from a nearby bridge but can only be reached either through an awkward jump off the bridge railing or more easily by gondola or just swimming to it and climbing out.

If you kill the guards and carefully place them at the front of the alcove so that passing citizens can see the dead bodies the townsfolk will start jumping up on the bridge rail and trying to hop over to the guards to take a closer look.  Many that try fail the jump and go splash.  Others succeed but are then trapped and will try to free run out of their predicament causing another great concentration of splashes.  At a fairly busy crossing point earlier this evening I watched at least 50 citizens drown themselves in 3 or 4 minutes.

3. Some of the highlighted counter kills really crack me up.   ^+-+

It's hard to pick one but a personal favorite has to be with the flanged mace where on occasion you remove a guards lower jaw with a quick forehand, step past him and then with the backhand swing you you nail him right in the, ahem, barse.   :o

The guard goes down in a faceplant with one of his hands clamped onto the one place that won't be injured any further in his fall.  >:D

[PZ]

lol, good ones, mandru  :-X  Definitely ones I'll try the next time I'm in the game, especially that technique involving the man's barse  >:D

[mandru]

 ;D

Empty handed, I'd disarmed him and was just trying to give it back to him.   >:D

[PZ]

As is often said, it is better to give than receive  :-()

[Art Blade]

hehe  ^-^

I'd like to watch those 50 idiot citizens dash and splash while I'd have something to eat and drink.  ;D :-X

[mandru]

I did consider getting some microwave popcorn for the show but it will be a couple months before I have teeth good enough for that.    :(

That's OK.  I've noted a few spots in Venice that this trick works great and I have plenty of time to practice body placement to get the best results for drawing in victims until then.   :-D