Assassin's Creed Revelations funny moments

[PZ]

I had a hilarious time this morning, actually the first that is this funny, and quite profitable!

I typically only hire the mercenaries (because they fight so well), and the courtesans because they easily distract the guards at least two times per group of 4.  Rarely do I hire the thieves, but that has now changed dramatically.

I hired a group of thieves and began walking at street level.  I thought I had encountered a glitch because the pick-pocket sound and $ kept ringing up as if I were pick-pocketing frantically (the money was racking up fast).  I must have racked up about $1000 before I realized that my thieves were behind me pick-pocketing everyone in sight, and the $ was being automatically added to my purse!

I just stood there for a while in a busy section of town laughing as I saw their antics while stealing $ from the citizens.  In fact, they even stole money from a beggar that had his hand out! 

Another added benefit is that after a fight, the thieves will even loot the guards for everything they have.

[Art Blade]

Are you sure you hired thieves or did you hire ex-MS employees?

[mandru]

I haven't put together a good list of the things in AC:R that have made me laugh out loud and there have been quite a few.

One thing that stands out is an* NPC that appears regularly throughout Constantinople/Istanbul who has apparently been linked to a table and stool.  Every time I've encountered him he is standing beside the table with the seat of the stool flush across the front of his chest and the four legs pass through his body protruding well beyond his back.


*That's weird.  ????  Abbreviated it's "an NPC"  but if I don't abbreviate that it's "a non-player character".  I never noticed that before and had to bounce it back and forth a few times to figure out the correct way of saying it. 

[PZ]

Are you sure you hired thieves or did you hire ex-MS employees?

Aren't you being a bit redundant?  ????

[mandru]

I was running along the Southern shoreline of Galata (the Northern section of the two parts of Constantinople) and as I was hopping over some crates and barrels I accidentally bumped a woman who in no uncertain terms told me "Don't F*** around!"    :-D

[Art Blade]

PZ, yes, you're perfectly right. Same thing, really  :-D

Mandru, re: an NPC or a non-player character.

As a non-native English speaking person I am an N-NESP, as you see. I could abbreviate that even more just by writing, "I M N N-NESP S U C."  :-D

Gives you pure N-R-G, doesn't it, mate  :-()

[mandru]

 :-D

[Art Blade]

 ??? That.. was one of the shortest posts you've composed. Ever.  :-D

[PZ]

Someone must have hacked into mandru's account and is pretending to be him.  ????

[mandru]

 

I'd come up for a moment for a breather and wanted to dive back into Revelations.   :-X

[Art Blade]

funny comment, PZ  ^-^

[PZ]

 

Laughter is indeed the best medicine!

[Art Blade]

No one could possibly want to pretend to be mandru when it comes to posting here. You know, the real mandru pops up on my radar as reading unread posts and a bit later replying to one of those. Ten minutes later he'd still be replying to the same post. Another ten minutes later he'd be gone invisible due to not doing anything the software detects. After another ten minutes he'd be back on the radar, now quoting someone (yet still replying to that very same post he was replying to half an hour ago). Later when I have finished re-reading through all recent and unread posts I take a look and mandru has gone invisible once more yet there is no new unread post so he'd presumably still be posting. Before I go to bed I take a last look at the forum and oh, surprise, all of a sudden, there is a new reply by mandru. I decide to leave it as is because I know it is going to exceed my time left for that day and the next day when I read it, it will be a post about as long as your arm  :-D NO ONE can possibly want to fake that 

[PZ]

... Ten minutes later he'd still be replying to the same post. Another ten minutes later he'd be gone invisible due to not doing anything the software detects. After another ten minutes he'd be back on the radar, now quoting someone (yet still replying to that very same post he was replying to half an hour ago). Later when I have finished re-reading through all recent and unread posts I take a look and mandru has gone invisible once more yet there is no new unread post so he'd presumably still be posting...

... and here I thought he just fell asleep at the keyboard...  ????   8-X

[Art Blade]

..and here I thought I'd spare him that part to make it look less awkward. But maybe it's the right time to describe that bit right here, right now. Actually he does fall asleep occasionally while posting. This is due to mind-constructs that are so complicated to build and even more complicated to prevent them from collapsing he gets lost in the process of upholding the.. the.. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... <and now the part when he wakes up by the noise level of his own snoring>
ROOOOooooooar...  ??? <smack.. smack..> What the.. Oh.. Where was I.. oh yes..

??? 8-X

:-()

[PZ]

 

[mandru]

 

I take my time composing many of my long posts.  It's not just the editing I do to get the wording the way I want it, I will wander off to go have a smoke or fix a snack but I never (well almost never and only when playing RuneScape ;) ) fall asleep at my computer.

The office chair at my computer desk has had the arms and back removed to force me to sit up straight and to eliminate some scapular pain I was experiencing from my tendency to rest too much of my weight on my elbows.  It wouldn't be my snoring that wakes me up (I've learned to sleep through that though the roar was appropriate) it would be the sudden jolt of my largish frame bouncing off the floor.   ^-^

[fragger]

 

That reminded me of the time I fell asleep at my computer and woke up with my head on the keyboard, which was making a continuous "dididididididididididi" sound while it busied itself impressing a key pattern into my forehead. I saw myself in a mirror shortly thereafter and I looked like I'd been smacked in the face with a waffle iron :-()

[PZ]

 :-X

[Art Blade]

Fragger, brilliant

and mandru, in my book this topic's descriptive highlight so far is your largish frame bouncing off the floor 

[mandru]

 

It hasn't happened yet but the thought of it makes me shut off the computer and go to bed when it's time.  (:)

[fragger]

Wise man :-D

[Art Blade]

That reminds me of a real life incident. I was at my ex-girlfriend's place watching a vid when I heard someone moving furniture in the house, had to be below us because her apartment was already an attic flat. And it was kind of late so I started to get a little angry. The noise faded away and I was focussing on the film again when shortly thereafter the bloody noise surprised me again and this time it sounded as if someone had knocked over something big and while I was wondering whether or not to get really angry it happened again so that really infuriated me and I hollered with a vengeance, "what type of arsehole fucking moves furniture at this time of the night?!"  >:(( And then I could have sworn I heard my name. Well, must have been a hallucination and since the rumble had stopped I relaxed and leaned back to continue watching the film when again I heard my name, clearly this time, a female voice, if faint, ...  ??? Where was my girlfriend by the way..? There, my name again.. I went down the hallway and guess what, she was laying curled-up on the floor, halfway in the bathroom, halfway outside, whimpering.

Turned out that she fainted in the bathroom, knocked herself out by falling and knocking her head on the washbasin and ripping down everything in her wake. That was the first time I thought someone moved furniture. Then she had come round, called me, got up and fainted again. Same procedure, only this time on the other side of the washbasin. That's when I got angry calling her names (not knowing it was her, then) and when I told her I did that and what I thought had been going on she and I both started to laugh so hard we had to be careful not to faint  :-() That incident (she fainting and dropping down) was the reason I decided to become a -- meanwhile even appointed -- first aider.

[mandru]

Another graphics glitch that I've encountered a few times now is with the Romany men who are usually juggling fiery torches.  There is one that I have come across who is always in the the same spot holding the typical three lit torches but in his case he is standing with his hands at his sides a torch each hand and the third torch merrily burning away is stabbed into his bare chest where it's exposed by the gap in his vest.

I had a job like that always giving me heart burn.   ;)

[Art Blade]

 :-D